You Know You’re A Business Major If (Part 8 of a Series)

 

  • Your life ultimately boils down to “Increasing Shareholder Wealth”
  • You use the terms “sunk-cost” and “overhead” in everyday conversation
  • You’re tired of people using “hot terms,” like leverage, streamlined, or synergy
  • You understand that marketing and advertising are not the same
  • You know the difference between a mission statement and a vision statement
  • You don’t fantasy football, you fantasy stock-trade
  • “Lowest Hanging Fruit”…Nuff Said
  • You work smarter, not harder
  • Office Space is your favorite movie
  • You’re willing to take risks, but not too many
  • You take comfort in bureaucracy
  • You consider sticky notes one of man’s greatest inventions
  • You know what the “glass ceiling” and “glass escalator” are
  • You’re proficient at excel spreadsheets
  • You organize various things in your daily life with excel spreadsheets
  • You have, or have always wanted, a red “Swingline” stapler
  • You care what brand of office supplies you use
  • You’ve stolen office supplies
  • You regularly ask yourself the question, “is this good for the company?”
  • Dilbert is your favorite comic strip of all time, and you aspire to surpass Dogbert.
  • You plan to start or take over a business after graduation
  • You’ve already started or taken over a business
  • You know that cash flow is king
  • You have to study Mandarin Chinese
  • You know of, and respect deeply, Jack Welch, Peter Drucker, or any other prominent CEO
  • You aspire to be a Six Sigma black-belt.
  • You anticipate pursuing PMI or ASQ certifications
  • A friend wanted to borrow money, and you tried to explain to them the time-value of money
  • Your perspective is always economic
  • You recognize positive externalities in life and have learned how to avoid unnecessary expenditures by taking full advantage of said externalities
  • You rationalize your parents payment of your tuition as an equity investment in your future
  • You realize how much money a mortgage actually screws you out of
  • You recognize how credit companies take advantage of cardholders with their “minimum” payment amounts
  • Interest is your bitch
  • You know the 4 (or sometimes 5…) P’s of the┬áMarketing Mix
  • You have always been able to contrive come sort of plan to make money
  • You know what a ponzi scheme is
  • You have a solid investment portfolio
  • You know why a hedge fund is called a “Hedge” Fund
  • You know what ETFs are.
  • You know how to say “Cheers” in at least 4 languages for when you get drinks after lucrative international business meetings
  • Whenever you buy something you ask yourself if it’s an operating or capital expense
  • You’ve implemented Kanban in your everyday life

Leave your additions in the comment section below and we will add them!

And finally, you relate personally to any of these videos: