You Know You’re A Math Major If (Part 4 of a Series)

mathjoke

Picture from Sharenator.com

  • You tell math jokes
  • You got the above math joke
  • You do vector calculus for fun
  • You start to lose your mind if you can’t find a pattern in a series of numbers
  • You think of everything in terms of a mathematical model
  • You never seem to need a calculator for anything
  • A spider on the ceiling immediately makes you think of René Descartes
  • You don’t play games on your calculator, that’s for the common man. You graph stuff for fun.
  • You’re angry that the calculator on your phone doesn’t have scientific functions
  • You don’t think “iff” is a typo
  • You’re  told to pay attention in class, but what your professor doesn’t realize is that you’re doing next month’s homework
  • You know pi to more than 2 decimal places, and try to impress others by letting them know how far past “.14” you can go
  • You’re so good at math that the D’s you got in English don’t matter
  • You think of getting older as “losing functions”
  • You’d rather use letters for variables than for forming words
  • When you do write essays, the words “let”, “such that”, and “therefore” are everywhere
  • You can do Sudoku for days on end
  • You try to find mathematical patterns in the stock market
  • Pi is your favorite movie
  • You know more than 3 ways to prove the Pythagorean theorem
  • You know how to pronounce “Pythagorean” correctly
  • You’ve actually been in a real-life situation where you had to find “x”
  • You see a gap in the sidewalk, but it doesn’t bother you because you know the sidewalk is continuous on its domain
  • You enjoy posing questions that you can’t answer
  • You think mistakes are just as interesting as correct answers
  • You follow the order of operations as a personal commandment
  • You feel bad for telling the guy next to you in lecture that 1 = 0, and watching his brain explode
  • You lie in wait for other students to drop out of advanced math classes, and calculate the probability of their doing so while you wait
  • You’ve given up asking your parents for help with math homework
  • You regularly use “dividing by zero” in your jokes
  • You know how to write several words using only one symbol
  • You know all the trig identities by heart
  • You know the entire Greek alphabet by heart, and you can write all of it neatly
  • You have an infinity symbol on your wedding ring
  • The word “extraneous” is part of your everyday vocabulary
  • You very much dislike doing anything in more than one step
  • Your girlfriend/boyfriend disagrees with you on the above statement
  • You prefer to do calculations yourself as you don’t trust computers to avoid mistakes
  • You use math-related pickup lines
  • You have a “problem-solving soundtrack”
  • You’ve rapped about math while doing it
  • M.C. Escher is your favorite M.C.
  • You can count in 9’s, 13’s, or 17’s with ease
  • You confuse people every time you talk about “real” numbers
  • You can do “percent of change” for just about anything
  • You can actually explain significant figures to someone else
  • You re-work sample problems in your head while taking a shower
  • You know that the cat with the lowest mu will always fall off the roof first
  • You know what the “Golden Ratio” is, and you look for it everywhere
  • You’ve corrected your professor while he/she was demonstrating a complex problem
  • Your professor’s problems take up more than one board
  • You write the “summation” symbol on a daily basis, even outside of class
  • You’ve developed your own proof
  • You can do unit conversions in your head
  • People call you a “math whiz”
  • You mentally convert complex objects into simple shapes to better understand them
  • You can solve for three or more variables simultaneously
  • Fractional exponents don’t scare you
  • Negative exponents don’t scare you
  • Negative fractional exponents don’t scare you
  • You’d give anything to meet Archimedes
  • You don’t consider long-distance running a “method of exhaustion”
  • You can find the area or volume of any shape
  • You can re-write an equation in two or more ways
  • You can solve the same math problem using three or more methods
  • You adore optimization
  • You’ve considered becoming a math professor
  • You’ve considered becoming an architect
  • You calculated how much of this list applies to you
  • You are doing calculations of some kind while reading this
  • Your homework for this week, next week, and the week after that was done before reading this
  • You should really stop reading this, it’s so inefficient.