You Know You’re An Engineering Major If (Part 9 of a Series)

  • Your social life is nonexistent
  • You enjoy pain
  • Your I.Q. is higher than your weight
  • You make checklists for everything
  • You consider any non-engineering class “easy”
  • Your calculator is your best friend
  • You took offense at the above statement because you never need a calculator
  • It’s 70 degrees and sunny out, and you’re working on a computer
  • You brought a jacket to work, even on a hot day, because there’s a chill factor in the lab
  • You can translate English into binary
  • You’re constantly drawn to fix things that are broken
  • You’re constantly drawn to fix things that aren’t broken
  • You’ve calculated how much money you make per second at your job
  • Curves make you happy, but not necessarily when they’re on another person
  • People act like they haven’t seen you in a long time whenever you go out
  • You’ve experienced abusive love-triangle relationships with your compass and/or protractor
  • You know that if you work while taking classes, you’ll end up having to retake at least one class
  • You don’t see the glass as half-empty or half-full, but as being twice as big as it needs to be
  • You consider optimization a reason to live
  • Your TAs have mostly foreign names
  • Your professors have mostly foreign names
  • You’ve run out of variables to use when solving a problem
  • You have technology-related websites bookmarked on your computer
  • You’ve actually used the math that everyone from high school claimed they’d “never use in real life”
  • Someone asks you the temperature, and you respond in Kelvin
  • You always try to see how much you can get away with using the least amount of everything
  • You’ve considered designing aircraft (or spacecraft) for a living
  • You’ve already designed one or both of the above
  • You’ve made it through Fluid Mechanics alive
  • You know that greater efficiency is never a bad thing
  • You’ve used a wind tunnel in one of your classes
  • You’ve built your own wind tunnel
  • You don’t just know the most common trig identities, you know all the trig identities
  • You know the derivatives of all said trig identities off the top of your head
  • You are able to design a chemical plant
  • You appreciate the true beauty of crude oil distillation
  • You consider ways that passing cars could be redesigned so they are more aerodynamic
  • You’re fluent in 3 or more computer languages
  • You’re constantly considering ways to give items more uses
  • You consider difficult problems “beautiful” after you solve them
  • You know that if you build a bridge and it falls down, you won’t get partial credit
  • You’ve spent more money on computer software than you have on clothing
  • Your significant other communicates with you primarily via email
  • You can name 6 or more Star Trek episodes
  • People always ask you to assemble things for them
  • You know the value of duct tape for solving problems
  • When the lights burn out at Christmas time, you find the one faulty bulb
  • You window-shop at electronics stores
  • You like to take things apart just to see how they work
  • You’ve considered building your own nuclear reactor
  • You’re already gathering materials to build your own nuclear reactor
  • You see a good design, but you can’t resist changing it
  • You save parts from broken appliances
  • The salespeople at Best Buy can’t answer any of your questions
  • You still own a slide rule, and know how to use it
  • You own a set of miniature tools
  • You can’t find your set of miniature tools because they’re buried in your other tools
  • You rush up to fix visual aids in other people’s presentations when they don’t work
  • You remember several computer passwords, but forget your anniversary
  • You watch all the shows on the Discovery Channel
  • You can type 70+ words per minute
  • You can’t read your own handwriting
  • When you pick music at parties, people quickly change it again
  • You feel that “Mission Control” are the real heroes at NASA
  • You’ve gotten a job offer from NASA
  • You have a neatly organized collection of various nuts and bolts in your garage
  • Your computer costs more than your car
  • Caffeine is one of your basic food groups
  • You found a way to better-optimize this list
  • You’re angry because this list didn’t end on an even number